Part of "us"

Faced with the loss of independence and self-sufficiency, I have spent more than a few nights worrying that I'll lose myself. In three short days, I'm moving in with Bob. Such a great man, and someone who has always been willing to listen to me and work things out. We haven't had many true arguments but we DO have certain things in our life that make our relationship difficult. But, you know what, for the last year and a half, we've gotten through them...and looking back on them now, they seem like just part of "us". Those things that make us who and what we are.

Our age difference, for one. Gosh, this past week, our age difference became very apparent to me. Bob hurt his back at work and then again as we were moving some furniture one day. As I got his laptop, made snacks, and prepared him for a day of working in bed, I saw my future... but I also saw someone who makes me happier than I've ever been.

Another...I've lived alone for the last 5 years. I haven't really had to compromise for another person. Of course, I've had Andrew around, but how much "say" does a kid have when it comes to household matters? The need to compromise is something that has recently become visible. Suddenly, I don't make all the decisions. What to throw away, where to move furniture, and what to hang on the walls, doesn't solely rest in my power. Wow...I'm working "with" someone. It's a new concept for me, but it's one I'm willing to practice and master.

There are more, but they are so "us" that to share them would take away their intimacy.

So, I'm counting down the days. My fears do not come close to the excitement I feel toward this new adventure. I have a new job waiting, Andrew's going to a good school, and I get to spend every day with the person that's almost as funny as I am.